Always Good

 

Covering her left eye, she ran into the house, her long braids whipping hard across her back. Hunting for her mom, she cried out, “Mom, I’ve got something stuck in my eye.” It appeared to be a small white fleck, stuck firmly to the outer corner of her eye. This stubborn irritant wouldn’t budge. Instead, within three weeks, it became a swift-growing, fleshy growth, reaching halfway across the cornea.   Then one day a simple blink caused the mass to detach from the cornea, leaving it to dangle down the outer corner of her eye.  She determined that  a patch would bring fewer questions from her fourth grade classmates than the hideous growth, and so embraced a pirate look while doctors waited to see if this mass would shrink on its own or if removal would be necessary.

Other than the sheer embarrassment of this new addition to her face,  she was too young to understand the fears her parents faced or the risks surrounding the growth. They shielded her from their own anxieties, spoke calmly of the power of prayer, and even invited her to a special prayer service to demonstrate their need for His intervention in their daughter’s life.

She would never forget the pleas that were lifted up on her behalf that evening as faces turned toward heaven, asking Jesus to protect her little body and to be glorified in this situation. She opened her eyes to see tears streaming down the faces of both her parents and several of their friends. Something holy in that moment caused tears of gratitude to fall down her own innocent cheeks.

The specialist reported that the mass had grown extensively around optic nerves behind her eye, recommending expedient surgery. Skilled hands completely removed the tumor, and pathology reports later declared this rare, swift-growing tumor benign!   Oh what a celebration! She believed, at that very young age, that the Father had specifically responded to the requests of so many prayers offered on her behalf.

Decades later, this former experience has brought an overwhelming sense of hope and peace  as I navigate yet another rare, fast growing mass in my pelvic region. This time I am fully aware of the risks, this time I’ve wrestled with the anxiety my parents once buffered.  Once again, gracious prayers of friends and family, lifted on my behalf, have strengthened me and given me hope.

A week ago today, I received a call from my doctor: “The preliminary findings are consistent with a benign mass. We will schedule surgery to remove it immediately……”   Though she continued to explain next steps and gave specific medical terminology regarding the mass, my cognitive tracking device failed after the one word I had longed to hear: BENIGN.

God’s undeserved mercy and infinite grace had been extended, once again, to my life.  Grace.  Mercy.  They always extend our way.  How often I’m blind to those gifts! I was keenly aware of them in that moment!

The doctor waited for a response.   “Did you understand what I said?  This is good news, Patty!” she reassured.

“Oh yes, Thank you, Doctor! I understand!  I simply cannot breathe!  God is so, so good!”

I hung up the phone, wrestling with my reply.  Did my declaration sound like a cliche response to good news? God…  He is ALWAYS good. He is the Architect and Builder of my life, deserving of my trust, even if the report had been different!  He  designed a master plan for all of our lives and has lovingly carried those blueprints since the foundation of time!  Amidst the chaos of life’s uncertainties, how easy it is to lose confidence in His daily commitment to complete His good work in us.    (Ephesians 2:10  For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.)

For me, it is far easier to trust Him when the report aligns to the request I lift to Him than to recognize that His goodness and His master plan remain in tact when the response is contrary to my personal desires. Even then, He assures us with His promise, “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out  before a single day had passed.”  (Psalm 139:16)

I have slowed and quieted my soul this past week, attempting to relish His unfading goodness, often ignored within the countless moments I’ve experienced.  His goodness has always gone before me.  It has chased and captured my heart!   GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD!

I am praying for you this morning.  May God provide you with grace to see His goodness amidst whatever uncertainties you face.  In the waiting, may your soul rise up in confidence with the Psalmist:

Psalm 116  I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy.  2 Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!  4 I called on the name of the Lord: “Please, Lord, save me!”  5 How kind the Lord is! How good he is!  So merciful, this God of ours!

Photo Credit: flickr.com