The university bursar knew me well. I slipped in through her doorway to deliver my daily deposit of bundled dollar bills and loose change…tip money from last evening’s waitress earnings. Today’s contribution? $37.00. She quietly recounted and mustered an affirmative, “Thank you, Patty. I’ll add it to your account.” It fell grossly short of the thousands needed to continue my education. Like a desperate diver in need of air, I bolted from her office, racing to the empty prayer chapel just above the girl’s dorm before worry choked the last breath of hope from my soul.
With my Bible laid out in front of me, quiet tears somehow formed themselves into unspoken prayers. Then God’s tender words lifted off the page and breathed hope into my soul: “You know the hopes of the helpless. You hear their cries and rescue them.” Psalm 10:17 “Don’t be afraid, [go ahead, add your name] for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
Trips to the bursar continued… trips to the prayer tower followed. Air. A breath of hope. My soul would fill. Day after day…
Then one day…
A simple old farmer arrived on our campus, carrying a donation of fresh Washington apples in the back of a flatbed trailer.
Apples were not the only thing he intended to deliver. He found his way to the same doorway I had stepped through day after day, asking the bursar if she knew of any students who were facing financial difficulties while in pursuit of their ministry degree. On that ordinary day… the cashier mentioned MY NAME…shared my story…told of my many trips to her office with bundles of singles in tow.
And on that same ordinary day, we sat together, the farmer and I, as comfortable as two old friends. I shared my dreams…He smiled. I described the mountain before me…eyes watered.
Then… the Extra-Ordinary eclipsed my ordinary world. The farmer announced, “Honey, I’m aware of your need. Continue working hard on your studies. Continue working hard at your job. Continue to do all you can do to earn that degree. But I will pay your unmet balance. I will watch your account each semester and I will continue to pay any unmet balances on your ongoing tuition.”
WHEN WORRY CHOKES….
Friend, notice I said, “When” it chokes, not “if” it chokes. Worry ALWAYS chokes! Dreams, hope, trust, confidence in God. On the contrary, Jesus sooths with these words: Are not two sparrows sold for a penny, yet not one of them falls to the ground without Your Father’s notice. YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE VALUABLE to Him than they are!
Not only is God attentive to your needs, He listens attentively to the volumes spoken in every tear: “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You record each one in your book. (Psalm 56:8) Did you know He is keeping a journal of every tear that falls? Did you know He collects each one? Your life… Your need… Your situation… YOU.Matter.Deeply. to God.
When worry chokes…Run to him. Lay your deepest needs before Him. Anticipate his vast and creative supply to meet your needs. Who knows, He might even arrive carrying a simple load of apples.
Beauty Awaits,
Patty
Anchor of Hope: He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.3 He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what He has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord. Psalm 40:2b,3
(Photograph by Jack Moskovita, http://1-4u-computer-graphics.com/BIRDS.htm)
Thank you Patty. I needed that reminder right now.
I’m so grateful that Jesus used it to encourage your soul. Great to hear from you David!!!
Oh Patty, I can’t tell you how encouraging these reminders were to me. This has been a year of tears for me, I don’t think God could keep them in a bottle, it must be taking lots of gallon jars!! 🙂 But as I am learning in my current small group study, I can ALWAYS go to God’s Word and be assured that He loves me, He know my situation and HE IS WORKING!!. That has been my theme…. I cry and God works and meanwhile He reassures me I am deeply LOVED! Thank you for your leadership!
I’m believing that He will pour those tears back on your head like a deluge of refreshing rain, my sweet sis!
Just the words I needed today. Thank you for your encouragement!
I’m so glad Michelle. Jesus hears every prayer…even those ones you can’t find a way to form into words. I love you my friend!
At 22 I was a young struggling mother and wife, trying desperately to make ends meet. One night after work I went home and found nothing but flour and oil in my cupboards for dinner. My heart was so worried for my little girl, but I always kept a brave face, so while she playedat I snuck into my bedroom and fell across my bed in tears. “God,” I whispered. “I know you love me and I know you always take care of me, thankyou for that and thankyou for husband and beautiful little girl, but tonight I have nothing to feed them but flour and oil, with that I can’t even make pancakes… we get paid on friday, if you would just give me a dozen eggs, that would be enough. Please give me a dozen eggs so I can make pancakes. They would last me til friday.” The next morning I went with my family to church and afterward I went into the pastors office to borrow a book. A few minutes later my husband walked in carrying a dozen eggs. “Where did you get those?!” I almost shouted. “I don’t know,” he said. “I was sitting by the front door and some lady walked in, handed me the eggs and said ‘I think you need these’ then she left.” God is good:)
Wow April- your story brought me so much joy. When no one sees,God sees. He hears our cry and is attentive to every word we speak. Thank you for sharing that glorious story!!